Renowned around the Austro-Hungarian Empire, Oötlüde excelled at the ancient art of 'ear-bashing'. Indeed, Olaf once rendered an opponent quite unconscious, with over 68 hours of banal chit-chat. While the Rulesque Earonis Bashet clearly states that combatants may break for sustenance and/or beverages every 90 minutes, Oötlüde's incredible powers of ventriloquism allowed him to vociferate without stopping, whist downing bottles of Höpman Pale.

Barrow girl by day, 'Trixie' plied a more lucrative trade by night, around the alehouses of London's East End. With a h'penny up for grabs, Trixie would challenge all comers to a frame of French billiards, whilst balancing a full pint of Höpman Pale on her head. It is said that any slight spills of beer on Trixie's head while performing more dexterous shots accounted for her most lustrous head of hair.

Little could this conductor cum inventor have imagined that what began as a party trick would become an orchestral sensation. After drinking precise amounts of beer from six Höpman Pale bottles, Guy Blo'arde blew La Marseillaise, note perfect. But it was when the maestro up-scaled to a grand organ, replacing the pipes with 168 finely tuned Höpman bottles, that Beethoven rolled over in his grave.

This Harley Street specialist performed open-heart surgery on man's best friend after their cruise ship sank off Patagonia. As his owner sank to the depths, 'Winston' the pug's heart broke. Operating aboard the rolling lifeboat, and with a case of Höpman Pale the only thing to drink, Schicke miraculously saved the dog. However, from that day forth, Winston's body would rock from side to side in the slightest breeze.

The 'human mountain goat', Major Grippe was first to climb the sheer North face of the Süisidehörn unaided - no ropes, no carabiners, no ice axe, no crampons. Grippe put his incredible scaling abilities down to his diet. Before each ascent he would 'consume the mountain' - a crude muesli of tree bark, moss and lichen mixed with a bottle of Höpman Pale. Grippe passed away just days before his attempt to summit Mount Löngeshlönge, stark naked.

With America in the grip of Depression, Fru took wing walking and crowds of onlookers to new heights. Clinging to the wing of her brother's homemade Focker, the Loop'd'Luppes, as they became better known, gave a new meaning to the barrel roll. Fru's brother would bank steeply and roll a bottle of Höpman Pale along the wing for Fru to catch and drink. Such was the spectacle, empty Höpman bottles after Fru's feat often sold for more than the original beer!